My first direct reports didn't like working for me.
Truth be told, I don't blame them. Although I modeled my management style around great leaders I knew, I also modeled personality traits – traits that weren't me.
I was frustrated and embarrassed that I couldn't connect with these young smart and talented women. I'm *still* embarrassed about it but not for the same reasons.
It would be easy to dismiss the self-criticism as a byproduct of inexperience or youth. Don't get me wrong, I've stopped beating myself up about it but only once I reflected on what was at the core of the issue.
It wasn't them. It was me, trying to be something I thought I had to be instead of pulling from what I'd learned from good managers and applying it in ways that were authentic to who I was (and still am).
This is a long-winded way to say "be yourself," but that can be easier said than done. We must occasionally (and intentionally) give ourselves permission to be who we are, particularly when we feel so different from those with whom we work.
I'll always work to improve as a leader, but trying to be someone I'm not is no improvement.
I'm a purple-haired-cosplaying-gaming-wordy-nerd-musician who leads with humor and makes no time for bullsh!t, and I approved this message.